As I was talking with a wise friend about this site and the nature of happiness, his first thought, first remark, went something like this:
When I think of what most people think about in terms of ‘happiness,’ it’s based on ‘external things.’ Happiness is not external but internal and eternal..
Encouraging his continued reflections about his own emotional and spiritual journey as a recovering alcoholic–which I’ll share in greater detail in another broader venue–I thought his insight and candor would help someone else in need, be seated in someone else’s soul who may be in the gutter of giving up. [John, we'll call him] commented:
For me personally, I think I left that lonely, scary express train riding through the pits of hell and accepted the gift that God had there for me…
…All the psycho-analytical and academic understanding as to why I indulged or what my brain chemistry did when I was high or drunk was never the solution to my getting well. For me and this alcohol dependency, I needed a spiritual solution.
At this point in time (after years of self-defeating binge-drinking and drug use), I knew that my son was going to be taken from me. The painful reality set in that I was most likely not going to see him if I went to prison for charges laid against me. I fell to my knees that day, August 28th and sought God.
While on my knees, I asked for help, but I also owned my part in what was happening in my life—didn’t matter what I didn’t do–the false charges and vindictive attempts to keep my son from me from an adulterous wife–I owned what I did do. I knew that no one, wife included, had poured alcohol down my throat. I had done that and acknowledged my accountability. I finally realized I was powerless over alcohol and the effect it had on me and the things I did when I was under its influence– and I knew a class wasn’t going to fix it…
That August afternoon, in retrospect, was clearly the turning point. Though I got up from that prayer numb and still utterly broken, I awoke the next morning feeling compelled to move in the direction to stay sober. The prevailing question for me then was, ‘What did I need to do to stay sober that day?’ It’s like, well, someone who’s overweight–and who wakes up one morning determined to make a change; they get up and stop eating gluttonously for one day, go to the gym, and they’re one day closer to their goal.
That day–August 28th–is when I put myself in a faith-based inpatient treatment facility. Essentially, I moved out and went into residential treatment program. Ultimately, I then began AA’s twelve-step program, and am now a mentor for other recovering addicts.
So here’s the point of this portion of the telling: Until I came to a spiritual solution, the phenomenon and craving came back. Until I totally gave it up, and said, ‘I can’t do this anymore; I’ve tried to think my way through this and that just doesn’t work;’ it wasn’t until I let go the idea that I could do it on my own, until I gave up control–that any spiritual progress was made. As long as I fought it, I was going to be “a dog returning to its vomit.”
I both recognize and share with you that the strong will and strength that came to me in a way unknown and not experienced previously was as a direct result of those prayers and God’s intervention in my life. I know that it was God who gave me that strength that I didn’t have myself, to leave where I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and check in to that residential treatment facility.
Since then, life has opened up to me in miraculous ways that will take many more writings to express.
[John] and I have had many discussions about healing and hope, about joy and God, about miracles in everyday life that come from doing God’s will and coming to know Him through faith. [John] says that the Big Hand from the sky only gets more and more visible as he continues to stay on a path leading to Him. He has been studying Mormonism–doctrines of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, praying, serving, and re-building his life with God’s signature on the pages of his life.
This is the kind of miracle that awaits any of you out there–anyone reading this who has lost the desire to carry on, the hope to live, the peace to produce, the light of life.
This site is a reflection of our prayers for you–whether your issues are large or small–and is an indication of God’s Hand reaching out to you in one more way, for evidence of Him abounds. As we seek Him, and Him alone, we will find Him and the starting point of a journey home–a journey to happiness and restoration, to life. We may not be able to change the beginning of our story but we ‘can’ change the end, and it can be glorious from here to eternity.
We’d love to hear from you. Let us know if this has helped you in any way, or if you have any honest questions about life or God’s plan of happiness for you.
